That Guilty Feeling

I have two things I want to write about this afternoon. First I want to tackle in a very brief way the subject of guilt. I truly believe that guilt can stop anyone in their tracks and take them off any course they were on. Guilt takes all the confidence you have, rips it to shreds then puts the pieces back in your pocket to carry around all day, all night, all week, for however long you will keep the pieces. Guilt weighs you down and makes it harder for you to walk. If you have enough guilt, you can hardly walk at all, you kind of just push one foot in front of the other as if you were carrying a 100 pound bag of sand. I think the worst kind of guilt is the kind that we bring on ourselves--the kind where we make a decision and then replay the decision in a different light and change thought. We then think we have made a terrible decision and the guilt just starts creeping on in. The guilt that I am thinking about right now involves not wanting to stand up and take responsibility for a decision I made and realize that I am an adult and no one is going to chastise me for making it. I need to accept my role in letting the guilt creep in. I opened the door. I have never thought of it that way before. I have always thought that guilt was something that others did to me, not something I allowed to happen. I see now that all those pieces I carry around in my pockets that keep me from bouncing are because I opened the door to let the monster in. I would like to be like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh, I would like to be that joyful, that light and carefree. I don't think Tigger even has pockets! I think there is a place for guilt as we all make mistakes and for some of these mistakes guilt is a necessary corollary. However for all those small things we feel guilty about day to day, it is time to empty our pockets and put a spring back in our step!


On a lighter note: Tonight is Pilates. My teacher is letting me really touch the sky and I am working very hard. So, how do you exercise and not look like a frumpy slouch? You buy the proper clothes and use those clothes only for workouts. I have about 4 pairs of Pilates pants, just loose, comfortable pants that keep me cool and allow me to move around, not sweatpants, not jogging pants, pants made for doing Pilates and Yoga. I keep the look going by always wearing a long-sleeved white t-shirt on top. It keeps the look crisp and non-grungy. I do not wear baggy old t-shirts with logos on them from my college days or souvenir t-shirts I picked up at Disney World. I feel good when I dress appropriately for my workouts because I look like I am set to do some good, make my body feel good, clear my mind. I don't need to go out to dinner in my outfit, nor do I need to prance all about Atlanta. I am set to go and do Pilates, nothing more, nothing less. I am prepared and know that I can feel good about making changes to my body because I am already dressed to do so!