Dancing in the Dark
It is absolutely amazing to me how a little baby can change your entire life, overnight. My darling baby has taken me for quite a ride over the past two weeks. As she and I visited my parent's house, we were calm, taken care of, sleeping, and generally existing in a very harmonious state. As soon as we returned to our home in Atlanta, she changed her tune. Of course I have no idea why although I have spent countless hours trying to figure it out.
I have become a student of the "irrational science of the newborn". Every day I come up with some new theory as to why my child wants to be awake from 3am until 10am. And every night this child changes her modus operandi and I have to recalculate. I think I have finally figured out how to prepare a bottle so that I do not have to change her clothes every time she eats. She really does not like to have me wrestling with the tiny onesies in the dead of night as she is more awake at that point than I am.
I really think that if I just committed to staying awake all night and didn't even try to go to bed, that I would be better than I am now. As the evening hours approach I become anxious just thinking about drifting off to sleep only to be woken by cries of, what? hunger? No, I just fed her. Wetness? No, I just changed her. Gas? No, she just burped and spit up all over my back. Is there a party going on that I did not know about? Yes, yes, that is it. In my "adult time" when it gets really dark it seems appropriate to crawl into bed beside my husband and dream. In the parallel "baby time" it is appropriate to fall asleep for approximately 15 minutes and then wake up and fidget for an hour, sleep for 15 and then fidget for another hour, eat, fall asleep while eating, sleep for 15, and then fidget until the sun comes up. After the sun comes up, it seems perfectly sane to then fall asleep for 4 straight hours.
"You really should try to sleep when the baby sleeps." Yes, yes, I am doing that. But for some reason at the age that I am, I just feel a bit lazy when I wake up at 3 in the afternoon and haven't even eaten breakfast. If I were in college this would seem so normal, not now though. So, tonight I am not even going to put on my pajamas. I am going to stay in my jeans and t-shirt and wait for the party to start. If there is no party, well, I'm going to have to rethink all the coca-cola I've been drinking!
I have become a student of the "irrational science of the newborn". Every day I come up with some new theory as to why my child wants to be awake from 3am until 10am. And every night this child changes her modus operandi and I have to recalculate. I think I have finally figured out how to prepare a bottle so that I do not have to change her clothes every time she eats. She really does not like to have me wrestling with the tiny onesies in the dead of night as she is more awake at that point than I am.
I really think that if I just committed to staying awake all night and didn't even try to go to bed, that I would be better than I am now. As the evening hours approach I become anxious just thinking about drifting off to sleep only to be woken by cries of, what? hunger? No, I just fed her. Wetness? No, I just changed her. Gas? No, she just burped and spit up all over my back. Is there a party going on that I did not know about? Yes, yes, that is it. In my "adult time" when it gets really dark it seems appropriate to crawl into bed beside my husband and dream. In the parallel "baby time" it is appropriate to fall asleep for approximately 15 minutes and then wake up and fidget for an hour, sleep for 15 and then fidget for another hour, eat, fall asleep while eating, sleep for 15, and then fidget until the sun comes up. After the sun comes up, it seems perfectly sane to then fall asleep for 4 straight hours.
"You really should try to sleep when the baby sleeps." Yes, yes, I am doing that. But for some reason at the age that I am, I just feel a bit lazy when I wake up at 3 in the afternoon and haven't even eaten breakfast. If I were in college this would seem so normal, not now though. So, tonight I am not even going to put on my pajamas. I am going to stay in my jeans and t-shirt and wait for the party to start. If there is no party, well, I'm going to have to rethink all the coca-cola I've been drinking!
posted by Mireille at 8:37 PM
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