A Case for Not "Being in the Moment"
I have written here on this blog that I believed one of the keys to happiness was to stay in the moment, to be mindful of what was going on right now, not tomorrow or yesterday. However, I want to argue that there are times when "being in the moment" is not possible, and sometimes it actually hurts.
My argument begins with the fact that sometimes circumstances in our lives bring us into places where we can barely breathe, but we have to be there, we have to experience that suffocating feeling day after day, we just have to, we aren't given a choice. How does one cope with this? I think escape is a wonderful word and a wonderful idea. I don't think that being in the moment at this time is such a good idea. When you are at the point of almost being suffocated by someone or something, thinking about it just makes you panic. And panicking is even worse than suffocation. Anyone who has ever had anything similar to a panic attack can attest to the horror of such a situation. So, in times like these we need an escape, we need some extra space to breathe, we need to give ourselves extra time to process our lives. We need to be patient with ourselves, for we are in untenable circumstances. In my case I have little to no control over them at the moment, but some may have the option of just getting up and walking out, and if you have that option, take it. Life is not about being in places where we can barely breathe. Life is too short not to be able to take full breaths every moment you can, taking the oxygen into your lungs and feeling that life force come into your being.
When you cannot be in the moment you have to find a way to escape the minutia of your circumstances as well as the larger implications of this situation. Often I write to escape, other times I listen to music on my iPod, trying desperately to drown out the noise of what is going on around me. Sometimes I have to find something I am looking forward to and tell myself, let's get to that point and things will be better. I look for small things to take my mind off the fact that I am on the verge of being pushed into an ocean where the tide will just take me under. I get a new cup of coffee. I try to be thankful for what I have. I try to understand that this isn't a permanent thing, that things will change, that thing are going to change for the better in a little while. And while I'm here I won't define "a little while", best not to, although it would be nice to have a definite end, a date perhaps on the calendar when you knew for sure your natural breathing would resume and you would be standing steady by that ocean letting the waves tickle your ankles, not afraid that the tide was going to take you away.
I would love to physically escape--by that I mean I would love to just sleep through the tough times or take a vacation and not come back until change had happened, but life doesn't work like that. I hope that when change comes I will appreciate it ever more than I would had I not gone through this stifling time, this stultifying and heavy time. So, for now, I cannot be in the moment for it is too much for me to bear. I can hear some therapist saying, "feel the pain, go through it and come out on the other side, look at it, stare it down....". Not for me. I cannot just look at this and examine it and live it. Nope. I can only find ways to make it better. Get a new cup of coffee. Try not to watch the clock too much. Give myself a break for now. Exercise. And get plenty of sleep.
My argument begins with the fact that sometimes circumstances in our lives bring us into places where we can barely breathe, but we have to be there, we have to experience that suffocating feeling day after day, we just have to, we aren't given a choice. How does one cope with this? I think escape is a wonderful word and a wonderful idea. I don't think that being in the moment at this time is such a good idea. When you are at the point of almost being suffocated by someone or something, thinking about it just makes you panic. And panicking is even worse than suffocation. Anyone who has ever had anything similar to a panic attack can attest to the horror of such a situation. So, in times like these we need an escape, we need some extra space to breathe, we need to give ourselves extra time to process our lives. We need to be patient with ourselves, for we are in untenable circumstances. In my case I have little to no control over them at the moment, but some may have the option of just getting up and walking out, and if you have that option, take it. Life is not about being in places where we can barely breathe. Life is too short not to be able to take full breaths every moment you can, taking the oxygen into your lungs and feeling that life force come into your being.
When you cannot be in the moment you have to find a way to escape the minutia of your circumstances as well as the larger implications of this situation. Often I write to escape, other times I listen to music on my iPod, trying desperately to drown out the noise of what is going on around me. Sometimes I have to find something I am looking forward to and tell myself, let's get to that point and things will be better. I look for small things to take my mind off the fact that I am on the verge of being pushed into an ocean where the tide will just take me under. I get a new cup of coffee. I try to be thankful for what I have. I try to understand that this isn't a permanent thing, that things will change, that thing are going to change for the better in a little while. And while I'm here I won't define "a little while", best not to, although it would be nice to have a definite end, a date perhaps on the calendar when you knew for sure your natural breathing would resume and you would be standing steady by that ocean letting the waves tickle your ankles, not afraid that the tide was going to take you away.
I would love to physically escape--by that I mean I would love to just sleep through the tough times or take a vacation and not come back until change had happened, but life doesn't work like that. I hope that when change comes I will appreciate it ever more than I would had I not gone through this stifling time, this stultifying and heavy time. So, for now, I cannot be in the moment for it is too much for me to bear. I can hear some therapist saying, "feel the pain, go through it and come out on the other side, look at it, stare it down....". Not for me. I cannot just look at this and examine it and live it. Nope. I can only find ways to make it better. Get a new cup of coffee. Try not to watch the clock too much. Give myself a break for now. Exercise. And get plenty of sleep.
posted by Mireille at 9:47 AM
1 Comments:
Yes, exactly what you said! YOU are fantastic.
- ging
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