It's Been A Long Time
It has been exactly 2 months since last I wrote here. I have no idea where the time has gone. I am glad to be back though. I've missed this place. Love, unexpected, strikes when you are not looking. You cannot prepare for it; you cannot plan your response. On some level it is a gut feeling and for some people it is either there or it isn't, simple as that. For some people, the love comes first, then the hard work. For others the hard work comes first and from that grows a love. Neither is right or wrong. It is just a testament to how different we all are.
Love, unexpected, strikes when you are not looking; needs to be said twice. I take my lunch early these days because I no longer feel trapped and anxious. I never actually realized how tense I was all the time until I became calm, under the spell of an unexpected love. This isn't temporary magic though--I have been unchained, unleashed, and I am truly, truly grateful. I can make peace now with my life's journey so far because I realize that every tear I shed, every sad moment I ever had was just preparation for this great unbinding.
It is fall now and I can wear my corduroys and sweaters and boots. I love autumn. The air is easier to breathe and I feel so clean and pure in the chilly air. I watch my breath come from my mouth and I have tangible evidence that there is life in me. Love, unexpected, a knock on my door and a new velveteen swing coat. In the fall I like to swing on front porches and listen to the noises of the night. In the fall I like to drink hot coffee at sunrise in my pajamas and robe. I'm not who I used to be. I catch my reflection and I am surprised at what I see. There is a new smile there, a beautiful smile I think. I still live on the same street. I still use the same face cream. I still love peanut butter. But now, now, I am full.
Love, unexpected, a gift to be unwrapped over and over again, each and every day. Thank you. Thank you. I set myself upon this journey with everything that I am and will be. I am not afraid.
Love, unexpected, strikes when you are not looking; needs to be said twice. I take my lunch early these days because I no longer feel trapped and anxious. I never actually realized how tense I was all the time until I became calm, under the spell of an unexpected love. This isn't temporary magic though--I have been unchained, unleashed, and I am truly, truly grateful. I can make peace now with my life's journey so far because I realize that every tear I shed, every sad moment I ever had was just preparation for this great unbinding.
It is fall now and I can wear my corduroys and sweaters and boots. I love autumn. The air is easier to breathe and I feel so clean and pure in the chilly air. I watch my breath come from my mouth and I have tangible evidence that there is life in me. Love, unexpected, a knock on my door and a new velveteen swing coat. In the fall I like to swing on front porches and listen to the noises of the night. In the fall I like to drink hot coffee at sunrise in my pajamas and robe. I'm not who I used to be. I catch my reflection and I am surprised at what I see. There is a new smile there, a beautiful smile I think. I still live on the same street. I still use the same face cream. I still love peanut butter. But now, now, I am full.
Love, unexpected, a gift to be unwrapped over and over again, each and every day. Thank you. Thank you. I set myself upon this journey with everything that I am and will be. I am not afraid.
posted by Mireille at 11:15 AM
2 Comments:
You are a beautiful writer!
Thank God you are back. I was so worried. I have to hear more about your new found love. Please let us behind the curtain! Glad your back gal, keep it up!
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