Let Me Think About It

I have found a sort of peace of mind about several things lately. I have taken control of situations in my life that heretofore I have just ignored or let run wild. Taking control of these things, taking responsibility for my actions and lack of action, has made me feel so much less overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed very easily. Two or three things going wrong in the same day and I'm on the floor saying "I'm done, I can't do this anymore". Being tired and needing to complete tasks makes me despondent and so angry with the world. I feel as if the world is out to get me and take me down. This frequently happens when I try to deal with more than one thing at a time. It isn't that I can't multitask, but that's just paper-pushing and typing at the same time and making quick decisions all along. I get overwhelmed by life's little requirements and decisions, like going to the grocery store or getting gas or deciding what to eat for dinner. These little things take over my mind and all of a sudden I'm having a breakdown!

To help me with this I am trying to remember that I am only responsible for today, for this moment, tomorrow is another day and one that I have no control over. Today is my responsibility. What can I get done today to facilitate life's journey and take care of myself? It is like the old adage about not being able to see the forest for the trees. I see trees and limbs and leaves and the pine straw and the squirrel. I do not see the entire forest as a whole very often. To that end, I can only deal with this moment right now. The next one will be dealt with when it comes to me.

In this quest to be ever more mindful I am trying to utilize the phrase, "Let me think about it". I am trying to give myself time to think about decisions before I jump in head first and then regret the decision later. It is a way to reduce the number of things I do that I regret later and yet cannot be undone. Like buying something from a store with no return policy. You get the item home and realize it really doesn't suit you, but you have no recourse except to get store credit and what you really want is that money back. Those kinds of situations cause me excessive worry because I know I didn't think about my decision and if I had I would have never made it in the first place. So, I am thinking about things more now. Financially I am trying to make good decisions and that takes time for me. Emotionally I am trying to be more careful and that takes time.

I guess I am not naturally a very patient person so I tend to make quick decisions and want things done yesterday. Case in point, my bum foot. I miss exercising so much and just want my foot to be healed so I can get back to my woods, my trails, my time outside working my body, pushing myself, achieving new goals. But my foot is not healed right now. It needs time to repair itself and it needs rest. I cannot just take off the boot and "walk through the pain" or else I risk breaking my foot entirely. I have set longer parameters for healing than will be probably be needed so that I am not disappointed when a week goes by and I don't feel better. I have to remember that the woods will remain and my body will easily go back to its routine when the time is right. Timing--oh how important it is in everything! When things are timed correctly life runs smoothly, calm is in the air and peace is experienced. Sometimes though we have to let go of the control we think we have on life in order for time to take its natural course and work itself out in the proper way. Letting go is not something I am good at in any way. But I suppose it is something I should work on. Let me think about that one and get back to you!